Motivated Sista

Don’t read this post if you want to be ordinary…

Goals, goals, goalsgoalsgoals. That’s all I’ve been talking about lately, both on this blog and in real life.

Let’s take a step back for a second.

Do you believe you will reach all of your goals?

Do you believe that you deserve every blessing, every accolade, every accomplishment and every breakthrough that’s coming your way?

Don’t just say ‘yes’. Stop and really marinate on that. I’ll be here when you get back.

(see, I’m still here.)

We are afraid of failure – what if we try and we don’t succeed? Will everyone know we’re failures? Will all those people who didn’t believe in us, who didn’t share our vision or feel our passion, stand up, thrust their fingers in our faces and say “I told you so!!”? Why do we feel like we should have more than what we already have? Why do we want to reach for more, anyway? Shouldn’t we be happy, content, satisfied with what we already have? Who are we to demand more out of life?

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I’m not feeling it today, y’all.

On most days, I’m full of energy. I’m excited, I’m motivated, I’m in a great mood, I’m optimistic and hopeful. In my mind’s eye, my dreams loom largely on the horizon.

Today I feel tired. I’m a bit down and my goals seem far away. I can’t laugh and joke as easily as I usually do. I feel disconnected from my dreams. And for today, that’s ok.

We can’t be on it every day. We’re not robots or Energizer Bunnies that can keep going and going. Sometimes we have setbacks that knock us off stride. Or sometimes our bodies, minds and spirits are not in alignment and the friction is exhibited through our emotions.

How To Recharge Your Batteries

When I feel like this, the first thing I usually do is acknowledge my emotions and how my body feels. Its ok for me to be tired, for me to have a day or two where I’m a little blue, or not as happy or optimistic. What’s not ok, though, is for me to have a prolonged period of time in this state. That means that there’s something serious going on that I need to further examine.

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I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about the expansion of his business. During our conversation, he remarked that he was feeling fearful of success.

I just smiled because I’ve sooo been there before. In fact, fear of success was one of the hardest things I had to overcome.

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1. Be happy right now because you have the option to be happy. No matter what’s going on in your life, those are just events and circumstances. Happiness starts in your mind and works its way outward.
   
   



2. Also, no matter what’s going on, it won’t last forever. So cherish the good things that you can be happy about, and look forward to when those unhappy times will be over.



3. You woke up this morning – which means you have more time to enjoy life. So instead of wasting time griping and complaining, stop sweating the small stuff and be happy!



4. Think back to those times when you laughed uncontrollably, loved unconditionally and believed thoroughly in the future.
   Remember how good those feelings felt, and relish them in your mind.



5. Have your own little party. Turn on your favorite music, get up and dance, and smile just because. Be happy that you have the ability to do so and that it feels good for no reason.



6. Be happy because you’re alive, you’re beautiful, no one else is like you and you are always loved, whether you realize it or not. You have at least one person on this earth who always loves you…YOU!




7. 7. Take time today to do something that makes you smile. Whether that’s watching your favorite movie, reading your favorite book, going for a walk in your favorite park, taking a long bubble bath or playing with your kids or your pet. Start with a smile and let that smile go all the way to your toes.



8. 8. Ignore the people that are tap dancing on your nerves. Let today be all about you and feeling good. Because honestly, they don’t matter! Only you matter so cherish yourself today.



9. Look at your hands, your feet, your skin, and your hair; feel the strength in your legs and your arms. Smile and admire how beautiful you are. If you don’t do it, no one else will! Be happy with exactly who you are and what you’ve got. You only get one you!



10. Lastly, think about every last person who makes your life great. Take a few minutes and think of each person, and love them in your mind. If it weren’t for them, would you be who you are today? Be happy that you have the chance to think of them lovingly and honor what they mean to you.

On Sunday, I was feenin’ for some Rita’s frozen custard. I had only had Rita’s one other time this year. There was going to be a serious problem if I couldn’t get some Rita’s. I decided to make an afternoon of it and went to the location that’s about 30 minutes away. It was the perfect day for a drive and a cool snack, it wasn’t too hot and the sun was shining. Then I planned to go to Barnes & Noble afterward and do some reading on a project.

I kept imagining how cold and creamy that first taste was gonna be. I couldn’t decide what flavor ice I would get mixed in, and I thought about the other ice flavors I had already tried. I could barely sit still as I was driving, and did a little happy dance at lights because I was beside myself with happiness.

When I got there, there was a line. But I wasn’t upset at all. That just gave me more time to make up my mind. Then when I got to the window to order, I sampled some flavors for my next visit. The moment that I had that Gelati in my hand was pure bliss. It looked so beautiful that I almost didn’t want to eat it. Almost… (lol)

But of course I crushed it. And just like with many things, the anticipation was greater than the actual product. That’s life though, you know? You work to get this thing that you want, and then when you get it, you enjoy it for two seconds before you’re on to something else. Kinda like a kid with their Christmas toys. He or she spends all year being naughty or nice, helps their parents decorate the house, all to rip open presents in 20 minutes and forget about their gifts by the next week.

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You’re not going to like this post very much.

You see, I’m here today to tell you that you’ve been hoodwinked. If you’re a woman, you were probably taught to be nice, to always think of others, to give unselfishly of yourself, and to ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. And if you’re a man, we’ve all heard the saying that ‘nice guys finish last’. You’ve seen in your own life where you’ve been ‘too nice’, you’ve given and given and given, and you put others’ wants and needs before your own.

How is that working out for you??

I’m gonna guess probably not that well. These lessons are great ways to teach children how to interact with the world. Children by nature are very self-centered and pleasure-driven, so I can see where it is not safe or practical to raise a child that only knows how to satisfy his or her needs, without consideration of others or taking into account the consequences of their actions. But you’re not a child anymore.

You’re an adult with needs and desires of your own, and you’re probably tired of getting your feelings trampled, of others being inconsiderate toward you, of people ‘taking your kindness for weakness’. There are a few tactics you can use to get around this.

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If you’re not familiar with Lisa Price, let me introduce you to her. She is the founder of Carol’s Daughter, a line of ‘highly natural’ (I’m quite sure what that means…) hair and skin care products. Carol’s Daughter is so popular that Halle Berry and Jada Pinkett Smith are fans. This line paved the way for targeted, quality products for African American women, at a time when we were still being ignored by the mainstream beauty industry.

1. Lisa price began making hair and skin care products in her kitchen as a hobby. While she worked as a writing assistant for The Cosby Show, she made her own scents and lotions, and began giving them as gifts to her friends and the cast of the show. Through her experimentation, she created a line of hair and skin care products. When the show ended in 1992, Lisa grew her business, starting out selling her products in flea markets. Carol’s Daughter became an official business in 1994.


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So many of us were determined to ‘get it in in 2010′. In January, you could literally feel the excitement and enthusiasm for a new year and a new decade in the air. I started off this year by choosing a theme for the year and the principles I would work on. You can review that post here. Then, after 3 months, I reviewed my progress in this post. Continuing the analogy that I’m the CEO of Me, its now time for another quarterly review.

This review is even more important, because half of the year has passed. I had several intentions at the beginning of the year – namely to lose weight and incorporate healthy eating habits into my life, take my business and blog to the next level (two specific goals are to become my own boss and write an ebook for Motivated Sista), start a committed relationship, and improve my cooking skills.

How Far I’ve Come

Taking stock of exactly where you are, how far you’ve come and how far you still need to go is integral to your progress. How can you progress if you don’t know which direction you need to go in or what adjustments you need to make? I think this is one of the biggest reasons for failure, besides lack of self-confidence. We either don’t take action or continue to take the wrong action, and then wonder why we’re not where we really want to be.

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Do you have a bucket list? I admit that I hadn’t heard of this phenomenon until the movie with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. One thing that’s funny about me, as much as I like to feel good, I avoid ‘feel good’ movies. To me they’re pointless because you already know the outcome of the movie. Well with most movies you do, but I’m just sayin’… you know if Denzel is doing something, at the end of the movie he’s gonna win. Where’s the suspense and anticipation in that? (Y’all know I’m special..lol..)

The gist of the movie was that these two old guys threw caution to the wind and had all these experiences that they’d been desiring their whole lives. They called their list their bucket list – their list of things to do before they kicked the bucket. What’s interesting is that their families didn’t like it… I mean Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson ain’t no spring chickens here, but that just shows you that no matter what you do folks are gonna have something to say. So you know what I say,

I’ve been carrying around my list in my head for years, but was inspired to share it with you guys after reading Cody’s Post over at Thrilling Heroics. And I can’t share everything… I’m an introvert at heart, so sharing my bucket list is like pulling back the dressing room curtain while I’m getting dressed! LOL

It is my hope that you’ll drop a few ideas in my bucket (hence the title of this post), and if you don’t have one, to gather your thoughts and write your dreams down. Because if you don’t at least recognize that you need a map, how can you ensure that you’ll reach all the points along your destination? I’d love it if you shared yours with me, but if not that’s ok too. I just want to inspire you to continue to dream. As Les Brown says, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

So here’s my list,

50+ Adventures to Embark On Before I Kick the Bucket:

(not in a particular order)

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Don’t you just hate it when someone throws cold water on your dreams? When you’re really excited about the direction that you’re going in, but a well-meaning Negative Nancy tries to throw a roadblock into your path? I hate that too and I’ve fallen victim to unintentionally letting others dampen my excitement, which ultimately led to me second-guessing myself and what I really wanted. There are ways in which you can protect against that, and I’d like to share a few of them with you today.

Get On The Offensive

The most important thing to do in order to guard your dreams from outside negative attack is to get your story down pat. When you sound doubtful or confused when people ask you questions, they will be doubtful and confused about your vision. For example, if you’re in the midst of switching careers and your current job is perceived as a ‘good job’, people will wonder why you are switching and how you can leave that money behind. To prepare for the inevitable questions, work out in your mind what your response will be. If you just say “I’m following my passion”, you’ll likely sound flaky and unrealistic. But if you have a succinct, logical story about your vision you’ll fare better when questioned about what you’re doing. You could simply say “I’ve always been passionate about creating gift baskets, and I’m finally doing me and starting my own business”.

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