We often don’t believe that we can accomplish a goal, because we simply can’t see ourselves doing it. But the visions you have for your future can take you from the realm of wishes to tangible, achievable goals. This is especially important when you have a burning desire that others call impossible to achieve. Call it wishful thinking, call it daydreaming, but whatever you call it, visualizing your goals can be one of the best things you can do for yourself.
From Vision To Reality
I always had a passion for flashin’~ Kanye West, Good Life
Before I had it
I closed my eyes and imagined, the good life
You may not be a Kanye fan but his lyrics are a great example of my point. In his songs, he talks about how he used to work at The Gap, lived at home with his mom and was so poor that he and his girlfriend had to split the buffet at KFC. Yet he’s one of the most popular (and, admittedly, controversial) artists out today; he’s won 12 Grammy awards and has his own label, which is home to Common, Kid Cudi and John Legend. You may think his rise to fame was largely a product of luck, but I beg to differ. He was on his grind and made things happen for himself, but during those dark, lean days, he held his vision in his mind long enough to get him to each next step.
This example is a great template for us to follow. Click Here To Continue
$25 Barnes & Noble giftcard – Delisa
$50 Bath & Body Works giftcard – Sheri
$75 Target giftcard – April
and our final winner is
congrats girlie! I’m excited for you, yayyy! And if you guys haven’t done so already, check out Tiffany’s fabulous blog – HelpYourselfBlog.com.
The other day, I was having a ‘moment’. I have this huge mirror on my dresser, and as I was getting dressed, I was standing in front of it. I remarked to myself that my skin felt really soft, then my eyes caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. And I was really happy with what I saw. I smiled at myself, took a few moments to bask in that happy feeling, and then kept it moving.
Its important to note to you that I’m not perfect. I have stretch marks, rolls of body fat, acne scars, I can stand to lose about 30 pounds and I only have one dimple. But I love my body. The more I take the time to love it, the better I feel about myself and the more I enjoy the person I’m growing into. I don’t just love my body when I’m wearing a fly outfit or some Spanxx. I love it when I’m naked, when I’m clothed, when I’m laying in bed and even when I feel kinda fat. I love exactly what I have and even though it’d be nice to have a flatter stomach, I don’t beat myself up about it. I have strengths and weaknesses just like every other woman but this bundle of flesh is uniquely my own.
Getting older is alot of fun. I didn’t anticipate enjoying my days this much. One reason I looked forward to turning 30 was gaining the strong sense of self that older women seem to have. I’ve never seen a friend who’s over 30 apologize for who she is, what she wants and the choices she’s made. I didn’t really understand what it means to love yourself until I stopped comparing myself to others, stopped reaching for some ideal of what I should be or what I should look like, and just appreciated who I am, what I like and my potential as it stands.
Its so freeing to live outside of the self-consciousness, worry what others think of you and thoughts of whether or not you’re making the right decisions. When you’re the authority on you, you don’t have to rely on others, its all you. You set the tone for your life and you control your own mission as the CEO of You.
Yeah, I’m feelin’ myself, and I hope you’re feelin’ yourself too. We’re wonderful, beautiful beings with the chance to have, be or do anything. Doesn’t that just make you feel good? =)
- Ray Kroc was a high school dropout who attempted several different careers before settling into the career of milkshake machine salesman: paper-cup salesman, pianist, jazz musician, band member, and employee at an Oak Park, Illionois radio station.
- Kroc sold milkshake machines for 17 years. His sales began to decline; he noticed that Mom-and-Pop stores and drugstore soda counters were no longer placing orders, while a small restaurant in California was his biggest customer. So he traveled to meet with Dick and Mac McDonald and figured out how their restaurant was thriving amidst changing times.
- From this observation Kroc drew up a deal with the McDonald brothers: he would franchise their restaurants and sell his mixers in their new locations. His confidence in what he had seen was unshakable. He later noted, “I was 52 years old. I had diabetes and incipient arthritis. I had lost my gall bladder and most of my thyroid gland in earlier campaigns, but I was convinced that the best was ahead of me.” He was even more convinced than the McDonalds and eventually cajoled them into selling out to him in 1961 for only $2.7 million. [source]
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Congratulations! I’ve already emailed you, so when you respond with your mailing address I’ll get your $75 Target gift card out to you ASAP.
March Motivation Madness Giveaway #4The final prize for our March Motivation Madness is a $100 gift card from Amazon.com!! I’m going to do something different for this one. Instead of choosing a winner at random from the subscriber list, here’s how you enter for the last giveaway:
Leave a comment to this post and tell me: Name one thing you’ve done in 2010 to get closer to your goals!
It can be a big goal, like home ownership, getting married, or starting your own business; it can also be a ‘smaller goal’, like improve your eating habits, make new friends or lose 10 pounds.
- Leave your comment in this post only.
- Make sure you provide your email address.
- Contest open to subscribers and Facebook fans only.
- Only U.S. residents are eligible (sorry to my international Motivated CEOs).
- Contest ends: Monday, March 29th at 12:00 p.m. EST.
- Winner will be selected at random from the comments to this entry.
So let me know what you’re working on and you’ll be entered to win. Good luck!!
I can definetly say that “Keep it moving” is a quote I live by. Just like “live in the moment” is. Still havent figured out how to stay in the moment..
As I read this topic, a magnifying glass was placed on my current situation. I’m unfortunately In love with my good friend. I told my self that as long as I “live in the moment” things will be fine. No expectations, no drama, just enjoying one another. Well this worked for a little while but the more time we spend and the closer we get the more curious I am about who else he may be involved with. Now as friends we can talk about pretty much anything but this topic has been very uncomfortable for me to address. Why, well because I didnt want the answer to that question. Well curiousity kills the cat they say. I got the answer to my question. It was what I expected but honestly I have no right to be upset because of the “No expectation” rule I set. Now that I have the answers I have to decide what I want ultimately and if the current situation fits into that. I know it doesnt but I dont know how to just let go..
Hon, I think you do know, you are just holding yourself back from what you don’t want to do.
Stay In The MomentStaying in the moment is very hard to master and it takes constant practice. Your mind is used to just running off on its own without you steering its course. Its not something I currently have total control over, but the more I bring my mind into the present moment, the easier it becomes the next time I try. Here’s what I do: say I’m driving, or washing dishes, or talking on the phone. Whatever current physical action I’m doing becomes automatic and my thoughts drift into either beating myself up for something that already happened or worry about something that’s yet to happen. I ‘catch myself’ in these thoughts, literally hearing what these thoughts are and reminding myself that these thoughts serve no purpose for me – in fact, they make things worse. Then I notice and stay focused on my physical actions: the feel of the hot soapy water on my hands; the way my fingers grip the leather of the steering wheel; the words the person is saying to me on the phone; and other physical sensations around me, such as aromas, sounds and textures.
At first, like I said, this is very difficult. Just keep doing it. You might be alarmed by how often you have to do it in the course of a day, because it seems like as soon as you refocus your thoughts, they start to wander again. This is normal. Your mind is a tool that is looking to be occupied, and if you’re not currently solving a problem then it will devise one for itself to solve.
Hearing Tough AnswersSomewhere deep inside, I believe you knew the answer to the question you wanted to ask your friend. That’s why you didn’t want to ask. You had already figured it out (perhaps the signs that he was seeing someone were pieced together as one of those problems your mind gave itself to work on); but actually hearing confirmation that it was true was hard for you. Click Here To Continue
When we think of drama, of changes, and of negative situations, we often say “just keep it moving”. But honestly, how often do we do that? I think alot of times we hold onto people, situations, and even things that no longer serve our purposes. Eventually we’ll let go, either when we’re forced to or we’re involved with the negativity long enough that we’re ‘sick and tired’. It doesn’t have to come to that.
Why We Hold On So LongMy hypothesis on the reason we fail to move on is that we hold ourselves back out of fear. We fear failure, we fear success, we fear the judgement of others, and we fear the consequences of our decisions. We date men who clearly are not the best choice for us, because the fear of the unknown is stronger than our pain in these relationships. We eat horrible diets because of the pain of making lifestyle changes. We fear stepping out on faith with radical dreams because we don’t want to ‘hear people’s mouths’ — those people who promise to unconditionally love, support and uplift us, who fall short on those promises unintentionally.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that these people, situations and habits are useless to you, as the quote states; they just aren’t the proper fit. Maybe they were the proper fit for you in the past, but either you’ve grown or the situation changed. However, if you’re holding yourself back from pursuing something greater – greater friendship, greater love, greater health or greater career status – then you’re doing yourself and those things you need to move on from a great disservice. You wouldn’t continue to wear shoes that don’t fit you properly, so its time to stop occupying your time, efforts and mental energies on things that don’t fit you properly either.
Know When Its Time To GoToxic relationships are the hardest things to let go. When you love someone as your friend, significant other or relative, its very difficult and painful to cut those ties. In my experiences though, the people that I needed to move on from don’t realize how negatively they affected me. After hemming and hawing for a while, when I finally cut the ties, I didn’t miss them from my life. What’s worse, I realized how much time I’d wasted and how much unnecessary stress I’d put on myself by holding on. In hindsight, I also realized that me holding onto them was causing them from filling the void I would leave with people who were a better fit for them, too.
Sometimes its not fear that’s holding you back, but a negative self-image. If you don’t think you can do better, deserve better or can achieve better, then you’ll stay right where you are. That situation will take you more time to overcome than just moving on. A negative self-image calls for drastic mental change and an overhaul in the way you define yourself. If that’s truly what’s holding you back, then its not about other people, situations or habits – its all about you.
Keep It Moving In Less TimeYou should periodically evaluate how you spend your time and the return you’re receiving on your investment.Once you put 2 and 2 together that the situation isn’t working out for you, don’t waste time. What’s the point of saying to yoruself, “this isn’t working for me” and remaining where you are? At that point you can’t blame anyone but yourself for being in that spot. You’ve recognized what you need to do, so after that there’s nothing left but to keep it moving. The longer you stay, the longer you hold yourself back from the love, support, advancement and fulfillment that you really deserve.
What lessons have you learned from keeping it moving in your own life? Have you gotten faster in moving on from situations that no longer serve you? Let a Motivated Sista know!
I honestly wanna keep going but it seems am not moving at all. No matter what step I take, it seems impossible. I am a single parent of one, she’s seven and we’re doing ok healthwise which is a plus. I am employed as a clerk and I earn something that keeps me moving plus some lil loans here and there. I have tried relationships and nothing is working out. I have even tried the long distance but loooo. I am pretty and have what it takes but it seems men just want me for one night stand which is a minus on my side cuz I don’t wanna practice that. I would like to go back to college and continue with my diplomas and degree but finances on my side are kaput. Honestly how can you help me out? I try looking for jobs online and but nothing comes up….kindly show me how to start…..pray for me and wish me well dear sister.
My response: first of all sista, thanks for writing in. Of course I wish the best for you, and hope you realize that well-being is always flowing to you, you just have to let it in. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me and letting me add some motivation to your mix.
Coping With FrustrationThe impression that I got from your email is that you feel blocked on all sides. It seems like you’re frustrated because you aren’t getting results in the 3 areas you’re working on right now – finding a relationship, going back to school and finding a new job. When you’re working on more than one major area at a time, you can sometimes feel overwhelmed by all you have to accomplish and frustrated by what seems like non-existent progress.
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The best way we can honor their sacrifice, determination and hard work is to live the dreams that they held for us, when they knew that future generations would enjoy a level of freedom and achievement that they could not experience. I find it ironic that women in the past were held back by sexism, racism and strict social codes of their time. Yet today, the barriers to our success lie largely within us – low self-esteem, negative self-talk, the internalization of negative messages, and self-doubt.
The sparkling, expansive future that they envisioned for future generations has turned into an existence filled with cubicles, reality TV and escapism. We’re trying to mentally escape from lives that we find unfulfilling, mundane and mediocre. We are our ancestors’ dreams deferred, yet we’re continuing to defer the dreams that we hold inside ourselves. That is not a proper way to honor their legacy at all. Think about the countless sacrifices that the women in your family have made in order for you to be here today. They didn’t do all that they did so we could be living mediocre lives that are designed by default. We owe them our greatness so that their legacy of sacrifice and the greatness they dreamed of for future generations can continue.
I remind myself that my maternal grandmother worked in a laundry and only received an 8th grade education. But she wanted her Booga Boo to go to college, to have a happy marriage, to have healthy children, and to live a life that she was not allowed to live in her lifetime. I’m conscious that I may have some of these things on paper, that I’m striving to achieve the ones I’ve yet to obtain, but that her overall vision for me was a life that is filled with happiness, love, fulfillment and possibility. I cannot let her down. You cannot let your ancestors down, either. We will not allow their sacrifices to be in vain.
You owe a debt of gratitude to every woman in your family who has bled, sweat, and died to make sure that you’re free today. How will you pay that debt and honor their sacrifices, their spirits and their dreams for the greatness that you could live?
A Motivated CEO writes: I’ve been trying to take better care of my body; working out, drinking more water, more sleep, eating better and more often. However, I’ve fallen way short of my goal. I just need to get a good start and develop a lasting routine, but it’s so hard. I have a hard time believing I can actually make that change for the better. I feel hopeless about my physical health and body image.
What would you say to motivate someone like me?
My answer: Stop Being So Hard On Yourself!!
I know you’re being hard on yourself, because I am the Queen of Being Hard On Oneself. And in this perfectionist country that I rule over, my subjects and I don’t recognize the progress that we’ve already made, are impatient for results and don’t enjoy ourselves along the way. You’re doing well and you’re getting better and better.
Pat Yourself On The BackThe best thing you did for yourself was decide that you wanted to make changes to the way you care for your body. That’s huge! And not only did you make that decision, you’ve stuck to it by implementing changes to your habits. So the first thing I say is recognize how far you’ve come in your mind. Because mindset is the key to reaching any goal.
One thing that you said that stuck out to me: I have a hard time believing I can actually make that change for the better. Do you see that you’ve already made that change, by deciding to change? And then you followed up that decision with action to make those changes permanent? Now why is it that you don’t believe you can change your habits permanently? Is it that you’ve tried in the past and weren’t successful? So then I ask, what do those previous efforts have to do with this effort (Could it be more of you beating yourself up, for the last time and this time?)?
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