Comments on: You Are All That Matters

By: Anilia

Anilia — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 19:33:44 +0000

Britney,
the fear you speak of happens at any age. It sounds like you’ve lost focus on WHY you’re working toward your degree. Once you connect back to your purpose and believe you will do it, there’ll be no stopping you. Take some time to really think about what your life will be like after you graduate, the things you want to accomplish once you’ve finished, and how great that sense of accomplishment will feel.

We all have a fear of failure. Just know that if you don’t take positive action, like doing your classwork and studying, you will bring about the very situation you’re trying to avoid. The mind is like a sponge so if you’re replaying scenes in your mind where you fail, you don’t pass and your family has negative things to say, your mind will start to bring those about. So start by envisioning what success looks like for you and try to tune out any negative things people might say.

Also, the past is the past. You don’t have to make the same mistakes as you previously made, and you’re now wiser for the lessons you learned from them. Don’t stay there in your mind, you can only take action and affect the present, which is passing you by when you dwell on the past and imagine what will happen in the future. It’s exactly like you said “I’m allowing my mistakes from two years ago to steal from my present.”

In terms of your family – don’t give them the power to determine your future. They chose their lives, and you’re choosing your own by the actions you take. Do you want to join them? Or do you want to define success for yourself? Here’s a post I wrote on tuning out the naysayers in our lives: http://www.motivatedsista.com/2010/10/07/tune-out-the-naysayers/

In terms of a support system, your best bet may be other students. Start making like-minded friends and you’ll find they support your struggles right where you are. You’ll also feel good by supporting them too and helping each other succeed.

((Hugs)) Britney – I know what you’re going through! But you can do it with focus and determination.

By: Britney Butler

Britney Butler — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 23:48:08 +0000

I truly believe that this post was intended for me. I’m 23yrs of age, and am struggling with the very things written about in this post. I’m a psychology major (should have graduated May ’11) but didn’t because of poor decisions my 2nd and 3rd year of college. As of late, I’ve felt unenthusiastic about my classwork. I haven’t been keeping up with homework, or anything. I know what the issue is… I’m afraid of messing things up again. I want to succeed so bad that I’ve scared myself into doubt, procrastination, and the fear of not measuring up. I know what I should be doing, but I’m not doing it. I’m not sure this makes sense, but this is where I’m at. I don’t have much of a support system, actually my family is waiting for me to fail (like them)… the pressure is on, and I’m allowing my mistakes from two years ago to steal from my present. A change, no a made up mind, is what I need. Gotta push!

By: Tammy Chandler

Tammy Chandler — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 04:16:13 +0000

Valeria, THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing that with me. It really means alot hearing it from someone who has walked in my shoes. I know that not everyone will agree with my decision and thats ok. As long as I stick to the plan and do what I am supposed to do ALL will be ok!

By: Valeria

Valeria — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 16:15:12 +0000

I’ve been there and done that! I had my son at 18 and I uprooted my son for my medical education THREE times. My family wasn’t supportive either and that was very difficult to deal with but I did what was right for me AND my son. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made! I’ve never “went back home” and sometimes you have to leave what is in the past there and just make a “new” start somewhere else. In your gut – you know what YOU need to do. Follow that instinct and just know that you made the right choice for YOU! Everything will turn out wonderfully!

By: Tammy Chandler

Tammy Chandler — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 15:59:11 +0000

O my goodness, this one drove me to tears! I am fighting this issue right now. I know I am and can do better for myself if I make some drastic changes in my life (like relocating,) yet NO ONE in my life is supportive of that. Actually against it because I have a child and they dont believe that I should uproot him from his “home” or leave him behind with his father. My past still holds me back till this day and it is driving me crazy! Thanks for the read…..have to go finish crying and than MAKE A DECISION!

P.S. you must be a fly on the wall in my head!