Tune Out Your Negative Mind

September 30, 2010 by  
Filed under motivation

In Part 2 of my Motivation Mojo series, I discuss ways you can tune out the negative chatter in your mind. For Part 1 of the series, click here.

Your mind is an immensely powerful tool that can be used for good or ill (don’t you just love how I made that sound like some superhero stuff?). One thing you should keep in mind – it is a tool for your usage. It is a tool, its not YOU. We are so accustomed to thinking of our mind as who we are, as part or all of our personality, but its actually not.

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Ramp Up Your Motivation Mojo

September 28, 2010 by  
Filed under motivation

One of the biggest challenges of being motivated in your business and professional goals is staying motivated. As the challenges and discouragements come, its easy to just give up on our dreams or develop a pessimistic outlook on life. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Starting with this post, I’m publishing a series on how to maintain your motivation as you’re working on your goals. Check back often because I’ll be updating this often.

There is a tendency that, once a person experiences discouragement, they be-come mired in the feeling and take a long time to recover their enthusiasm. But what happens to cause discouragement anyway? Usually, it occurs when an external or internal thought enters your mind to counter the positive, motivating feelings you currently have.

Discouragement can be very insidious because your mind will grab hold to that one thought and create other thoughts that correspond with it. Before you know it, you are filled with fear, concern and doubt about something you were thrilled about, just a few moments before.

Feeling discouraged is a normal part of life. What’s not normal, though, is letting that discouragement stall your progress. You have to learn to manage the feeling so that it does not interrupt your progress. Since discouragement crops up from both outside and inside of us, there are several tactics we can employ to guard against it. That way, our natural enthusiasm and motivation for our goals flows more freely, and its easier to stay on course for their completion.

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Did You Fall For This Lie?

September 22, 2010 by  
Filed under inspiration, motivation, relationships

There is currently a lie being circulated in the black community.

That lie has touched almost every African American person in America.

If you’re not careful, not diligent and not focused, you can become a victim of that lie too.

So many have already fallen – are you strong enough to withstand the lie?

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The REAL Reason Why Your Business Will Fail

September 20, 2010 by  
Filed under business, featured, inspiration

We are living in uncertain financial times.

The economic climate here in the US has been tense and rocky for the past few years. I have brilliant friends who’ve been unemployed and underemployed for at least a year. The forecast for our nation’s recovery isn’t promising, as everyone has said “things will get worse before they get better”.

This is not why your business will fail.

Consumers are now bombarded with more advertising and more businesses are competing for the average person’s time and attention. And they all have more money, more resources and a deeper understanding of your market than you do.

This is not why your business will fail.

There’s one simple, evergreen reason why you won’t be successful. Its the same thing that holds every business owner, professional, hell anyone who’s trying something new – this reason holds all of us back.

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Do You Know When To Ask For Help?

September 16, 2010 by  
Filed under business

Yesterday, I had a blog consultation with Annabel Candy from Get In The Hot Spot. If you’re not familiar with Annabel’s blog, she writes about how you can integrate blogging, social media, and personal development to increase your business success.

Not only was Annabel’s advice awesome (seriously y’all, she rocked my world!) but I learned a valuable lesson about business that I want to pass on to you.

Know When To Fold ‘Em


Hate to toot my own horn here (actually, I don’t… but you know what I’m sayin’), but I consider myself an expert on motivation.

I’m NOT an expert on blogging, leveraging my blog content, increasing traffic, or social media.

As smart as I am, I fell into the dumb trap of thinking I could figure it all out on my own. And as women, and solo entrepreneurs, some of us often do that. We’re so used to working on projects and tackling problems alone that we attempt to answer questions and find solutions that are outside our areas of expertise.

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How To Anchor Your Visions

September 15, 2010 by  
Filed under inspiration, motivation

Yesterday, Shannon from Reading Has Purpose left an intriguing comment on my post “What Do Your Dreams Look Like?“:

I dream everyday. I think I’m actually too busy dreaming. I envision a future so bright that I sometimes forget to live in the present moment which sometimes causes me to neglect the obligations I have today.

I think she made a great point.

Getting Lost In The Sauce


Dreaming without direction, without an action plan behind it and without parameters can sometimes lead to neglecting your present moment. There are a few ways you can avoid getting lost in your own dreams, but first you’ll have to realize the need to stay on course.

It may be tempting to live in your head instead of living right now. Especially if the dreams you live in your mind are more appealing to you than the reality you live when you open your eyes.

For me, its so much more appealing to think about the perfect man who lives in my vision for my future, then it is to meet, interact and go on dates with the men in real life who I may not like. But if I allow my creativity and desire to get in the way of the opportunities I have every day, then I won’t get any closer to realizing moments that may meet or even exceed my vision.

How To Plan Your Visualizations


The first thing I do to ensure I don’t get lost in my own head, is to set boundaries for my visualizations. I typically visualize at the same time each day, which is right before bed. After I turn off the lights and get under the covers, I let my mind roam until I fall asleep. If I have time when I wake up, I visualize for a few minutes then too.

I used to visualize for about 15 minutes at a specific time each night. But I found that that took the fun out of visualizing and I felt it becoming a chore.

I also tend to visualize one dream at a time. I tried to visualize what my perfect day would be – I saw myself running my own business, being affectionate with my future husband, and living in my dream home. I also saw myself enacting some of the habits I wanted to install, such as working out every day and eating healthy foods.

I found that to be too overwhelming. I concentrated so hard on trying to cram everything into my vision and make it perfect. It just seemed contrived to me and it wasn’t enjoyable.

So I took a step back and let pictures flash in my mind until I eased into a visualization habit that felt fun and pleasing to me, without any pressure.

When visualizing, I also focus on those aspects of my dream that feel the hardest to accomplish or the farthest away. Sometimes when thinking about something I desire to happen, if it feels too far away or too hard to accomplish, then I get discouraged about it ever happening.

So I use my visualization time to see how it’d feel to actually have it, to reassure myself that its not as far away as it seems, and that reassurance adds to my motivation as well.

Dream About Tomorrow, Live For Today


I think focusing on one goal allows me to stay grounded in the present. I try to work on more than one goal at a time, and usually the goal I’m visualizing is not one I’m actively working on. Its so easy to get discouraged when you’re not yet where you want to be – so I try not to give myself reasons to feel like my life isn’t as great right now as it could be.

I often remind myself that I’m doing the best that I can, and if I can’t say that to myself truthfully, then I ask myself what I can do better.

So by bridging the gap between my vision and my present moment, I find ways to take steps to get from where I am to where I want to be. By analyzing my actions against my visualizations, I can see the areas I need to improve or change. And I take steps toward that, so that my dreams will become real one day.

Do you ever get lost in your dreams? Is it easy to feel like your dreams are better than your current life? Leave me a comment and let me know how you feel about today’s topic.

What Do Your Dreams Look Like?

When you close your eyes and look at your dreams, what do you see?

When you think about the future and what you where you want to be, what do you feel?

When you listen to loving voice in your head, that’s guiding you to the person you were born to be, what do you hear?

Do you take the time to listen, to feel, to see what’s before you?

So often, before we dare to dream and to desire something new in our lives, we allow our negative self-talk to talk ourselves out of what we want. You might say things to yourself like:

  • I can’t possibly go back to school, because that costs money.
  • How am I going to afford that trip that I’ve always wanted to take? Might as well not even think about it.
  • I might as well start adopting cats because there’s no good men left.
  • I don’t have enough time to start my own business. I’ll be in this rat race forever.

Whatever YOU tell yourself about yourself, is definitely true.

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Get Out Of Your Own Way

September 8, 2010 by  
Filed under law of attraction

This is the 4th part of my series on the law of attraction. The previous posts can be found here:

  1. Beyond The Secret Part I
  2. Beyond The Secret Part II
  3. Beyond The Secret Part III


Step 3: Your Desires Become Manifest

In the last post, I wrote about the three steps that it takes to manifest a desire:

Step 1 – Ask. You desire something, and your beliefs, feelings and vibration about it communicates to the Universe that you want it.

Step 2 – Answer. The Universe (or God, if you will) responds to your vibration and begins to align the people, resources and things to bring about your desire. You are totally independent of this process.

Step 3 – Receive. You allow your desire to manifest (or become material) in your life.

This is by far the hardest part of the process. You’d think it’d be easy, right? We just asked the Universe to give us something we really want, and the Universe fulfilled our request. So why aren’t people more successful at manifesting their desires?

Because we don’t know how to get out of our own way and allow our desires to come directly to us.

Your Beliefs Are Tripping You Up

A truth is simply a thought that you think over and over again until you accept it. We’ve all been conditioned to believe certain ‘truths’:

  • anything worth having, you have to work hard for
  • money doesn’t grow on trees
  • if something is different, its not ‘normal’ (and therefore you shouldn’t want it)
  • all the ‘good men’ are already taken
  • you have to crawl before you walk, and expect to pay your dues with blood, sweat and tears


Think about it like this: before you were told otherwise, you thought it was perfectly fine to color outside of the lines, right? It was also okay to color things with different colors than in real life, and if you colored in the sun with a blue crayon, and the grass with a red crayon, it was cool because that’s what you wanted to do, right?

But then your first-grade teacher strolled by and looked at your work. “Now, now,” she scolded you, “you have to color inside the lines. If you continue to do it like that, you’re doing it wrong.”

This didn’t really bother you, until you got home and your parents reacted the same way. “This is nice, honey,” they said, “but you should color the grass green and the sun yellow.”

You don’t remember when it happened, but you started coloring carefully inside the lines. You made sure that the colors you chose corresponded to how the objects look in real life. The adults in your life didn’t intend to stifle your creativity and kill your imagination. They just wanted to make sure you knew how to fit into society and acted like everyone else. Like normal.

The problem is, now you’re walking around with all these inherited ideas about how life should go, and your dreams now fit the parameters of those rules. You’re afraid to color your dreams outside the lines, and you’re afraid to paint your dreams in colors that are different than how they look in real life.

Worry Is Holding You Back

Every desire carries with it the exact opposite desire. So for everything that you want, there is a very specific thing that you don’t want. If you want a good job, you don’t want a bad job. If you want a handsome, successful man in your life, you don’t want either an ugly man or a lazy bum. Or even worse, an ugly, lazy bum…

…but I digress.

For the ‘little things’ we desire in life (and the Universe makes no size distinctions like we do; manifesting a cup of coffee is the same process as manifesting a Camry), we don’t think about what we don’t want all that much. But for the things that we strongly desire, we’re terrified inside that we won’t get them.

Its that terror – those negative emotions – and how you’ve been conditioned to view those desires, that block your ability to receive them.

Unless you expect your desire to manifest in your life at any moment, then you’re standing in the way of your manifestation. Why do you have any time constraints on your desire? Why do you feel like certain things should happen first? Why do you doubt that it’ll come to you – because of what happened in other people’s lives, because of what you’ve been told?

Remember, none of this is up to you anyway. Its up to the Universe. Its not an issue of you being worthy or having to earn anything. You were born worthy, and nothing differentiates what you deserve from what anyone else deserves.

The only things standing in your way, are the negative thoughts and emotions rolling between your ears.

So today, choose to believe that the abundance of the Earth is coming your way. Choose to believe that you’re worthy, that you deserve the best out of life, and that the blessings you’ve been asking for are right on your doorstep. Yes, it IS that simple. Try it and see. What have you got to lose?

Strong Black Woman: Fact or Fiction?

September 6, 2010 by  
Filed under personal development, relationships

It’s been a while since the Circle got together and pondered a question. Since I had the opportunity to poll 5 other dynamic black women, I figured I’d tackle this loaded question: what does the phrase ‘strong black woman’ mean to you?

Everyone has their own opinion and I’m glad we don’t all agree on this topic.

I think its crucial to our goals to really think about the value and resources we add to other people’s lives, and if that same value is being given back to us. If others aren’t willing to give us their best effort, why are we doing so? Why are we putting our goals, our finances, energy and even our health on the back burner in order to further someone else’s objectives?

How does being a ‘strong black woman’ tie in to all this??

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Beyond The Secret Part III

September 1, 2010 by  
Filed under law of attraction

This is the 3rd part of my series on the law of attraction. The previous posts can be found here:

  1. Beyond The Secret Part I
  2. Beyond The Secret Part II


Step 2: The Universe Answers

In the last post, I wrote about the three steps that it takes to manifest a desire:

Step 1 – Ask. You desire something, and your beliefs, feelings and vibration about it communicates to the Universe that you want it.

Step 2 – Answer. The Universe (or God, if you will) responds to your vibration and begins to align the people, resources and things to bring about your desire. You are totally independent of this process.

Step 3 – Receive. You allow your desire to manifest (or become material) in your life.

Keep in mind that the Universe responds to your vibration. So if you’re thinking about something, and you have emotions behind the thoughts, its included in your vibration. Once you’ve thought about something enough that the emotions behind the desire become a dominant part of your vibration, the Universe marshalls resources and the desire will manifest for you. 

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