I’m familiar with what it takes to start a business and each step along the way. But that doesn’t mean I’m immune to the fear, self-doubt and worry that can come along when you put yourself and your ideas out there.
Sometimes you can get so paralyzed by the fear that other people will tell you ‘no’, that you don’t even put yourself in the game. And that’s really sad.
Because that is simply confusing one person’s opinion with your worth. For example, if someone looks at one of my shirts and doesn’t like them, I’ve come to learn that that’s just their opinion – their opinion isn’t a measure of what my business or my product is worth. Just as someone’s good opinion isn’t a measure of worth for me. Ultimately, I set my own worth – my opinion is the only one that truly matters.
How We Hold Ourselves BackI’ve found that we limit ourselves in alot of ways because we subconsciously seek outside approval. I think this is caused by being attached to the outcome of what we do. It’s not enough for us to start a business and do something we love – if other people don’t validate our worth, then we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough.
Here are four ways entrepreneurs hold themselves back, and strategies to get around them:
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I was talking to a close friend the other day about a big idea she has. Her excitement was so contagious and her vision was definitely one I appreciated. Then, the next day, she told me that she shared that vision with someone else, who called her crazy.
Has this ever happened to you?
It’s frustrating sometimes. You see things differently than the people around you. Instead of those people respecting that, they’ll call you crazy, and say things like “good luck with that!” or just shake their heads. Why are things that are different necessarily bad?
We don’t all have to agree. Heck, we all don’t agree and rarely do. So it’s not like someone with a different outlook, a different goal or a huge aspiration is something new.
Let’s look at a few people who were called crazy for wanting something different:
Click Here For The Crazies
Today I realized that I’ve been playing kinda small, and for that I apologize to you guys.
For as long as I remember, I’ve been passionate about entrepreneurship. I’m naturally a big dreamer and you guys know that I love to inspire others, drop an encouraging word and contemplate how great we all can be. But in my quest to build this blog, I got lost in the sauce somewhere.
Lately I’ve been more concerned with popularity than the value I give to you – with the number of subscribers and Facebook fans I have, how I measure up to similar bloggers, the kind of recognition I could receive from this. When all of that isn’t the point, and never was.
I lost sight of the fact that this isn’t about me – it’s about you.
When I stay true to my core self, you guys benefit. When I’m excited, when I’m motivated, when I’m growing, I can better take you along with me. Since I veered off someplace else, it’s been hard for me to write. Since I wanted to put a glossy finish to everything, I wasn’t being the best me I can be and my words and thoughts have stopped flowing like they used to. I didn’t want to show you my mistakes, didn’t want to look too close at what’s not working or admit that I could do better – because that would mean I’m not doing my best now.
How does the saying go? The truth shall set you free?
In my effort to include as many people as I could in my blog audience, I wasn’t including myself. I was trying to write about what I thought you guys needed, which resulted in me leaving out the things I’m most excited about – entrepreneurship, and lifestyle design and optimal living. And in the end I wasn’t writing about what either of us ultimately need.
So that’s where my focus will be, from now on. I realize that some of you aren’t into those topics and won’t come along with me, and I’ll come to terms with that. If, at the end of the day, there’s only one person here – me – I’ll be okay with that. This isn’t a personal blog, even though I write about personal topics sometimes – my mission is to motivate you. But if you are looking for something else than what I have, that’s okay too.
The biggest part of this change is that I’ll write more about topics that I haven’t become proficient at yet. I’m still building my business empire and becoming the person that I dream about growing into, and it’s not an easy thing to publicly say “hey, I’m not there yet”. But that’s some of what I’ll be doing here.
So what do you guys think about my shift in focus? At the end of the day, we don’t all have the same dreams, and I want to help as many of my readers as I can reach the dreams I’m best able to motivate you guys to pursue.
From the Motivated Sista Mail Bag:
A Motivated CEO writes: I hope all is well with you this morning or afternoon… I have been a reader of your blog for a little over 7 months now and I enjoy reading your posts they are very powerful and most of all inspirational to me…
I’ m a 26 year old Black woman who is single. I haven’t been in a relationship for 4 years, majority of my friends are in relationships and sometimes its hard to be the only single person in the group. For some reason I can’t find love nor anyone who interest me. I’ve had alot of guys approach me but once I start talking to them I can tell we are on two different pages. I’m just in a place in my life that I just don’t want to keep dating just to date I actually want to date and hopefully find my husband and the father of my kids. People say I’m crazy because I’m only 26 and already looking for a husband but I say I’m not getting any younger I’m getting older….
I’m also struggling with my career I just finished school for event/ wedding planning but am currently working at an insurance company. I know my dream is to be a wedding planner but right now am kind of content working at the insurance company. It’s a great company but I know this is not what I want my career to be. I get sidetracked alot and that’s a major issue for me and something I’m trying to work on… my goal is by the time am 30 I want to be successful and comfortable where I am financially. That’s my goal and only have 4 years to reach it and at the pace I’m going I’m not sure if its possible. But like you said in your post (we are the only people that’s standing in our way) I’m the only person who can stop my dream from happening but its so much easier said than done… can you give me any advice on my confusion????
Girlfriend, I have two words for you: Specificity and Planning.
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