Motivated Sista Playlist: 10 Songs To Help You Stay Focused

April 19, 2012 by  
Filed under motivation

Last week I read Rosetta’s playlist over at Happy Black Woman and was inspired to share my playlist with you.

My first reaction to her list was “gee, if I post mine it would be full of ratchetness”. While it’s true that some of the music I listen to is ignorant and some other negative adjectives, it’s honestly what gets me going. Alot of popular music is filled with materialism, focusing on the wrong things, and woe-is-me-he-done-me-wrong messages that I do NOT subscribe to. I’ve stated before that the mind is like a sponge and you have to be careful about the messages you absorb over and over again.

That being said – here’s my list. Can’t say I didn’t warn you about the ratchet factor, but they’re not ALL bad.

Total Praise – Richard Smallwood

I listen to this song every morning after I’ve cleared my mind and before I meditate.

Mary Mary – Get Up

Talk about some awesome lyrics!! “What are you afraid of? Don’t you know what you’re made of…” When I first heard this song, I listened to it all the time. It’s an affirming, uplifting, feel good kind of song.

Goapele – Closer

This song is a mandatory addition to any playlist about motivation. I used it as the soundtrack to my first mind movie, and the lyrics just really inspire me to keep pushing.

Nicki Minaj – Moment 4 Life

 Hate her or love her – this girl is doing her thing. It’s a great reminder of where I’ve come from, where I am and where I’m going.

Beyonce – Upgrade U

One of the hardest working women in the music industry, yet she comes across as humble and down to earth. And I’m constantly upgrading my mindset, so this song is perfect for me.

Jill Scott – Golden

no matter what’s going on in my life, I live it like it’s golden. Because what you focus on expands, so I focus on the good and expect more goodness to come my way.

Kayne West – Stronger

What I like about this song is that Kanye talks about the power of now – “I know I got to be right now/cause I can’t wait much longer”. Yeah he’s talking about some other stuff too, but that part of they lyrics plus the beat really get me pumped.

Rick Ross – Push It

What’s your limit? How far will you allow yourself to go? This song is great for motivating you to keep going.

Rick Ross – The Boss

(clean version but explicit video… plus Rick Ross has his shirt off, who wants to see that?!)

My goal is to be The Boss…

Lil Wayne – Money On My Mind (clean version)

message here – let’s get it! Whether that’s money, success, whatever your biggest dream is.

What songs are on your motivational playlist?

How To Be Supportive Unconditionally

April 10, 2012 by  
Filed under personal development, relationships

Keep your questions rolling in! I really enjoy doing this.

In a comment on my previous post, a reader asked:

What do you do when you are apart of a lack of support?

My only sibling is getting married to a young lady Ive watched manipulate him for years. I want to be happy for him. I want to release the ideas of him as my sidekick, and confidant. I want to let go of the disappointment of him never finishing school to take care of this woman and their child. I want to be the supportive sister I’ve always been. My gut, heart, and head are all against this marriage (its rare when everything in me votes unanimously).

I believe fear is playing the biggest part in his decision. It’s like watching him walk into a burning building, but I’m a mute with nothing around to throw at his head to catch his attention; Like he’s in autopilot. I’ve been told to mind my business by friends and family. That’s hard. He’s always been my business. I want to let go and be at peace. I don’t want to be cut off because of my opposing views. Its plaguing me. Any advise?

Thank you for submitting that question, and here’s my response:


This was a wonderful question because we often dwell on how other people aren’t there for us – but very seldom do we think about how we don’t support the people in our lives.

Ultimately, in order to release the frustration and disapproval you have for someone else’s choice, you have to allow for them to make their own decisions. You have to trust that they are fulfilling their own dreams, even if it’s in a manner that you don’t agree with. You also have to allow that people will make choices that don’t make sense to you and that their decisions don’t have to make sense to you. Your standards and outlook on life aren’t the same as theirs, and their path to happiness and joy won’t be the same as yours.

If you love someone, you support them no matter what. That doesn’t mean you have to support all of their decisions.

Just as no one has the right to dictate your life, you don’t have the right to dictate someone else’s. We are all charged with the task of making ourselves happy and not relying on others to do that, so we must stand back and give people space to do so on their own terms.

Were you faced with a similar situation to this one? How did you resolve your opposition?