Can You REALLY Have It All?

April 5, 2011 by  
Filed under relationships

One thing I love about being so motivated is coming up with new ideas, and finding ways to use my talents on projects that I want to work on. I hate the feeling of being handed something you don’t want to do, and feeling powerless about the results you must produce.

But at the same time, that intense motivation backfires on me. With strong ambition and wanting to do alot of things, comes scheduling problems that make it impractical to work on everything at once.

And as I’m feeling this time crunch, I’m also thinking about what I’m not doing with my time – hanging out with friends, seeing family and cultivating my love life.

Sometimes I wonder if women like me can really have it all?

Or must we sacrifice success in order to have a family? Is it possible to do both simultaneously?

What this really boils down to is, why are there so many successful, driven, single women?

What is it that other women know that we don’t? How should be better use our time and resources? What’s the key to having success in every facet of your life?

Well, dear readers, this isn’t one of those posts where I have a clear-cut answer for you. I’m still finding my way with this one too. I get so frustrated sometimes with all of us saying the same things: “is chivalry dead? Where are all the good men? How did she get married and I didn’t? Why am I still single?”

What really kills me is that people reply to these questions with empty platitudes that do nothing to shed light on the situation. If I hear “it’s not your time/ you’re still young/ marriage isn’t the be-all and end-all/ half of all marriages end in divorce (why doesn’t anyone point out that half of all marriages are successful?)/ just pray on it/ you have to prepare for a husband” – if I hear any of those again I just may scream!(These people usually have a warm pair of thighs waiting for them at home, making this empty advice even more infuriating.)

This is one of those times where I’m asking for your advice and opinions, because I’m not feeling it. It’s one thing to say “go out, you won’t meet anyone at home” when you have so much going on at the end of the week – working your day job, running your business so you can quit your day job, social activities/commitments, family relationships, maybe even children – when is alla dat men finding supposed to happen?

I just wanted to rant a little. I’d love to read your input on this.



Enjoyed this post? Fill in the form below to subscribe, or click here to subscribe to my RSS feed.

Enter Google AdSense Code Here

Comments

8 Responses to “Can You REALLY Have It All?”
  1. I think women CAN have it all if they believe it and don’t apologize for their choices. My mom chose to work when my brother and I were little (she could have afforded to stay home) and never made apologizes for her balancing act. In the end, she knew it made her a much better wife and mother to have something that was “hers”, and she enjoyed her career.

    The real question we should be asking is: Why are men never anxious about “having it all”?

  2. Meena says:

    Hmm, from what I have read, and from what I have seen, you have to get out there and strategically input the “man searching” in your life as much as you do the other things. It is a lot to do, but I am not lying when I say, the other ladies serious about having the career and the family are getting it in because they know the time to do so is NOW. Time waits for no one. Love your blog by the way! We all need to rant a little sometimes.

  3. Galen Pearl says:

    Well, I’m certainly not the one with the answers. I’m reminded of the passage in the Tao Te Ching. “The sage chooses this and lets go of that.” Good to rant. Lets off some steam and gets the conversation going. You are not alone.

  4. Oh, I like this topic. I think I will write something that covers a bit of this, because I feel the same. There is no easy answer.

    I remember copying an article to my PC, which was written by a guy describing why “smart people” have a harder time with relationships than others. He felt that we go at it too hard – the “A / B” student disease or something like that.

    I need to find it, ’cause I want to write about this topic, explore it a bit….

  5. Queen says:

    I am learning that circumstances are only a reflection of what is going on inside and that circumstances do not matter, only state of being does. Believing is seeing. And I am in the process of becoming a vibrational match to my own desires. I am learning to be in love with myself and connected to who I really am so that when I do meet my Mr. right my happiness will never depend on him but only myself, and from that foundation I know I will experience a fantastic relationship.

    • Anilia says:

      thanks for your comment Queen! here’s a post I wrote about the temporary nature of circumstances: http://www.motivatedsista.com/2010/01/19/you-are-not-your-circumstances/

      your comment is beautiful because I know exactly how you are feeling! We get so caught up in wanting things and possessions that we forget that we’re vibrational beings and that how we FEEL – not what we have or what we do – is most important.

      when I wrote this post, I was experiencing a moment of frustration. I see movement in most areas of my life, but my love life stagnates. My vibration is much higher now and I’m looking forward to it getting even higher :-)

  6. Queen says:

    Good for you Anilia! I too am always looking for ways to raise my vibration and to feel good no matter what. Our power is in our now not yesterday or tomorrow but now and feeling good is always my top priority.

  7. Shannon says:

    I think you can have bits and pieces of “it all” and mix it up to make a successful life. When I met Tez, it was work. We talked a lot. I didn’t get a lot done. But I decided it was important to date after my divorce lest I get scared. So for a week in July, I decided to seek less freelance work and spend more time dating. Two years later, I have “snuggle time” scheduled in my calendar. I freelance, I write, I parent, I love. I don’t think I have “it all” but I have what I want. We all can.

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

CommentLuv badge