How To Treat Dating Like A Job Search, Part III

November 19, 2009 by  
Filed under relationships

This is a continuation of yesterday’s post. To read part I, click here. To read part II, click here.

Be a well-rounded applicant
After I graduated from college, I started seeing more advice about job applicants being well-rounded. The advice I read stated how employers would rather hire an applicant with a B+ average and involvement in extracurricular activities than an A+ applicant with none. This was surprising to me, because I’d always been told the value of studying hard and getting As in school.

How this relates to dating: its not good enough to be just a pretty face. Who are you, really? I don’t mean your thoughts, possessions, or activities, but who are you as a person? Your potential dates are evaluating this and its important for you to have a firm grasp on what defines you before you put yourself out there. Also, people are interested in interesting people. How do you spend your time away from work and other responsibilities? Are you cultivating your mind or are you engaged in quality time with your TiVo? What interests do you have, and what interests intrigue you? This adds to your allure as a future mate as well.

Make sure you attend job fairs
Lastly, all of this hard work and effort would be put to waste if you’re just sitting at home. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. No one likes rejection; honestly, something would be wrong with you if you did. But at the same time, the only person who’s going to show up at your house is the UPS guy.

In your job search, you’d attend job fairs and networking events and mingle with recruiters. You’d let them know you’re available and what positions you’re interested in. Going out and flirting is the same way. Not knowing how to flirt is no excuse. We’re living in the information age, and if you can learn how to do the booty clap, the internet can teach you how to flirt too. Because we’re taught not to talk to strangers growing up, flirting and being approachable is not a skill that comes naturally to most. Furthermore, black women have developed the habit of being closed and guarded in public from being harassed by men on the street. However, going to a bar, club, play or restaurant is not the same as being accosted by a homeless man or thug rudely asking for your number. The only person who can learn these skills is you. So invest the time in upgrading your skills and generate attention in your dating life.

Keep your goal in mind
This last point is the most important. You wouldn’t go to one job fair and quit would you? You also wouldn’t go on one interview, get a rejection letter and then decide to go on welfare. Likewise, if one or two men don’t respond when you flirt, that doesn’t mean its time to quit. That just means they were practice for the guys who will respond to you. Be positive and optimistic about the process and let it work for you. When you combine all these elements, be consistent and don’t give up, you’ll be satisfied in your search. It may take time and energy but the rewards are worth it.

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One Response to “How To Treat Dating Like A Job Search, Part III”
  1. Lola Knights says:

    This is so true!!! We all put our best foot forward when looking for a job. We should all put the same effort into looking for someone that we hope will be in our life for the long haul.

    Your blogs make too much sense!!! I appreciate you putting this together and I will be putting this out into the universe.


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