How Fast Do You Keep It Moving?

March 18, 2010 by  
Filed under inspiration, motivation, relationships

“Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is uniquely your own.” ~ Bruce Lee (emphasis added)

When we think of drama, of changes, and of negative situations, we often say “just keep it moving”. But honestly, how often do we do that? I think alot of times we hold onto people, situations, and even things that no longer serve our purposes. Eventually we’ll let go, either when we’re forced to or we’re involved with the negativity long enough that we’re ‘sick and tired’. It doesn’t have to come to that.

Why We Hold On So Long

My hypothesis on the reason we fail to move on is that we hold ourselves back out of fear. We fear failure, we fear success, we fear the judgement of others, and we fear the consequences of our decisions. We date men who clearly are not the best choice for us, because the fear of the unknown is stronger than our pain in these relationships. We eat horrible diets because of the pain of making lifestyle changes. We fear stepping out on faith with radical dreams because we don’t want to ‘hear people’s mouths’ — those people who promise to unconditionally love, support and uplift us, who fall short on those promises unintentionally.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that these people, situations and habits are useless to you, as the quote states; they just aren’t the proper fit. Maybe they were the proper fit for you in the past, but either you’ve grown or the situation changed. However, if you’re holding yourself back from pursuing something greater – greater friendship, greater love, greater health or greater career status – then you’re doing yourself and those things you need to move on from a great disservice. You wouldn’t continue to wear shoes that don’t fit you properly, so its time to stop occupying your time, efforts and mental energies on things that don’t fit you properly either.

Know When Its Time To Go

Toxic relationships are the hardest things to let go. When you love someone as your friend, significant other or relative, its very difficult and painful to cut those ties. In my experiences though, the people that I needed to move on from don’t realize how negatively they affected me. After hemming and hawing for a while, when I finally cut the ties, I didn’t miss them from my life. What’s worse, I realized how much time I’d wasted and how much unnecessary stress I’d put on myself by holding on. In hindsight, I also realized that me holding onto them was causing them from filling the void I would leave with people who were a better fit for them, too.

Sometimes its not fear that’s holding you back, but a negative self-image. If you don’t think you can do better, deserve better or can achieve better, then you’ll stay right where you are. That situation will take you more time to overcome than just moving on. A negative self-image calls for drastic mental change and an overhaul in the way you define yourself. If that’s truly what’s holding you back, then its not about other people, situations or habits – its all about you.

Keep It Moving In Less Time

You should periodically evaluate how you spend your time and the return you’re receiving on your investment.Once you put 2 and 2 together that the situation isn’t working out for you, don’t waste time. What’s the point of saying to yoruself, “this isn’t working for me” and remaining where you are? At that point you can’t blame anyone but yourself for being in that spot. You’ve recognized what you need to do, so after that there’s nothing left but to keep it moving. The longer you stay, the longer you hold yourself back from the love, support, advancement and fulfillment that you really deserve.

What lessons have you learned from keeping it moving in your own life? Have you gotten faster in moving on from situations that no longer serve you? Let a Motivated Sista know!

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5 Responses to “How Fast Do You Keep It Moving?”
  1. Kemistry says:

    I can definetly say that “Keep it moving” is a quote I live by. Just like “live in the moment” is. Still havent figured out how to stay in the moment..

    As I read this topic, a magnifying glass was placed on my current situation. I’m unfortunately In love with my good friend. I told my self that as long as I “live in the moment” things will be fine. No expectations, no drama, just enjoying one another. Well this worked for a little while but the more time we spend and the closer we get the more curious I am about who else he may be involved with. Now as friends we can talk about pretty much anything but this topic has been very uncomfortable for me to address. Why, well because I didnt want the answer to that question. Well curiousity kills the cat they say. I got the answer to my question. It was what I expected but honestly I have no right to be upset because of the “No expectation” rule I set. Now that I have the answers I have to decide what I want ultimately and if the current situation fits into that. I know it doesnt but I dont know how to just let go..


  2. Kemistry says:

    No Problem 🙂

  3. Tiffany says:

    Anilia – this really hit the spot: especially since i have been crying for an hour after being “dumped” by my best friend. i have to ask myself if this was a toxic relationship. no matter how quickly you want to “keep it moving” in your head, it is sometimes more difficult to keep it moving in your heart. nonetheless, it is always necessary. i heard a preacher say it once like this: suppose you have a closet full of clothes – they’re beautiful, but some of them no longer fit. you paid a lot of money for them – invested a lot of time in finding them and feel nostalgic when you see them. But you can’t wear them. Clean out the closet and make room for God to bless you with something new. Thanks for the post!

    • Anilia says:

      Aweee Tiff, (((hugs))) thats really tough :'(
      I think back though, to your post about people letting you be who you really are, and I feel that her dumping you is in line with one of your responses to my comments – your vibration changed. When we’re changing and growing we don’t fit people the same… could it be you both need better fits?

      When I dumped my bff, I cried so hard, for a couple weeks… honestly it hurt worse than when I ended a serious relationship. So I definitely feel you. I think though that the pain is worth it to later be in a place where we need to be, with people we need to have around us. We move our feet first and eventually our hearts will catch up to where our bodies are.

      The sentiment from the preacher was eloquent and spot on.

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