Sometimes You’ll Stand Alone

March 1, 2010 by  
Filed under motivation, personal development, relationships

I love watching fantasy movies. Every die-hard fantasy fan has seen Lord of the Rings, and alot of books/movies in the genre have copied J. R. R. Tolkien’s plot: young, inexperienced person goes on a quest to save the world against the forces of evil; aided by bumbling friends, magical creatures, ancient wizards and courageous knights (or other such brave fighters), he beats the odds to save everyone’s neck.


Wouldn’t it be great if we had a posse at our backs during our quests through life? You could assemble your best friend, a wise elder, 2 or 3 fighting dudes and your love interest, and set off for parts unknown to make the world right again. Wouldn’t that be great?

Man, it’d be even better if we had a real-life posse that had our backs, but such is life. We can’t all be the questing hero, going from innocence to experience over the course of a movie (or really long book, in Tolkien’s case). And we’re lucky if we have a few friends to support us when we want to do something that others don’t believe in. Everyone will not share your vision; everyone will not support your quest.

The Posse Doesn’t Exist

My grandmother had two sayings: “you were born alone and you’ll die alone (and occassionally she’d add, “and you’ll get this whippin’ alone”, but I digress…)”; and “the only thing I have to do is stay black and die”. Those two sayings are pertinent in my message today, because they support my view that you have to stand alone. This choice is not always made because you want to, but because its absolutely necessary. Because the only person who has to support you is you.

We often hold ourselves back by waiting for the approval and support of others. Well, what will you do if that support never comes? If your parents never approve of the career choice you want to make, mate you want to marry or dream you want to pursue? Will you deny yourself because you don’t have anyone to travel on your quest with you? Or will you pack your necessities and travel that road alone?

Our friends and family have a funny way of innocently condemning our choices, but holding themselves back out of fear as well. So in their estimation, nothing would be achieved, because you shouldn’t follow your dreams and they won’t follow theirs either. Well where does that leave you? Forget about where it leaves them, put yourself first.

(caption: Believe in yourself when all around you may doubt you. Inner strength is the root of confidence.)


Your family is only responsible for your upbringing and once you’re an adult you’re to take it from there. Everything else isn’t a requirement. And we all know people who weren’t blessed to have one or both of their parents growing up, so I’m not suggesting that we take their presence for granted. But its just that – their presence – meaning the leadership of your life comes from you. That’s why I call you a Motivated CEO – you are the chief executive of your own life. Will a CEO poll other CEOs, and only act in his company’s best interest if the other CEOs say so? Even if your family serves as your board of directors, that’s the limit of their role; they’re your advisors, its still your ship to run.

So run it with full knowledge that you are the only one required to be at the helm. It’d be great to have the support of others, but if you don’t, then be prepared to forge ahead on your own. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did.



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Comments

2 Responses to “Sometimes You’ll Stand Alone”
  1. Tiffany says:

    Anilia – excellent post. I’ve been thinking about this and your posts are always right on time. What if you have to stand alone in your own marriage. This is not necessarily a bad thing. If you have a spouse who may have a different disposition, or who doesn’t struggle with the same things you do, you may have to stand alone. You may have a spouse who smokes, when you decide to quit. A spouse who eats burgers when you decide to lose weight. We have to remind ourselves that no matter who we surround ourselves with, it is ultimately up to us to chart the best courses for our lives. Thanks for this!

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