People often succumb to their fear instead of using it to make them courageous. In this video I give 4 ways you can use courage to your advantage and get further in your goals.
How courageous are you when it comes to your dreams? What other ways can you use courage to take you farther?
In this introduction video I explain why I created this video series and how you can benefit from it. I also give you the structure and steps you need to use the power of your dreams to be the awesome person you were created to be.
As always, I welcome your comments and feedback to our discussion.
I’m familiar with what it takes to start a business and each step along the way. But that doesn’t mean I’m immune to the fear, self-doubt and worry that can come along when you put yourself and your ideas out there.
Sometimes you can get so paralyzed by the fear that other people will tell you ‘no’, that you don’t even put yourself in the game. And that’s really sad.
Because that is simply confusing one person’s opinion with your worth. For example, if someone looks at one of my shirts and doesn’t like them, I’ve come to learn that that’s just their opinion – their opinion isn’t a measure of what my business or my product is worth. Just as someone’s good opinion isn’t a measure of worth for me. Ultimately, I set my own worth – my opinion is the only one that truly matters.
How We Hold Ourselves BackI’ve found that we limit ourselves in alot of ways because we subconsciously seek outside approval. I think this is caused by being attached to the outcome of what we do. It’s not enough for us to start a business and do something we love – if other people don’t validate our worth, then we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough.
Here are four ways entrepreneurs hold themselves back, and strategies to get around them:
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Your mind is an immensely powerful tool that can be used for good or ill (don’t you just love how I made that sound like some superhero stuff?). One thing you should keep in mind – it is a tool for your usage. It is a tool, its not YOU. We are so accustomed to thinking of our mind as who we are, as part or all of our personality, but its actually not.
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Don’t read this post if you want to be ordinary…
Goals, goals, goalsgoalsgoals. That’s all I’ve been talking about lately, both on this blog and in real life.
Let’s take a step back for a second.
Do you believe you will reach all of your goals?
Do you believe that you deserve every blessing, every accolade, every accomplishment and every breakthrough that’s coming your way?
Don’t just say ‘yes’. Stop and really marinate on that. I’ll be here when you get back.
(see, I’m still here.)
We are afraid of failure – what if we try and we don’t succeed? Will everyone know we’re failures? Will all those people who didn’t believe in us, who didn’t share our vision or feel our passion, stand up, thrust their fingers in our faces and say “I told you so!!”? Why do we feel like we should have more than what we already have? Why do we want to reach for more, anyway? Shouldn’t we be happy, content, satisfied with what we already have? Who are we to demand more out of life?
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I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about the expansion of his business. During our conversation, he remarked that he was feeling fearful of success.
I just smiled because I’ve sooo been there before. In fact, fear of success was one of the hardest things I had to overcome.
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- Be happy right now because you have the option to be happy. No matter what’s going on in your life, those are just events and circumstances. Happiness starts in your mind and works its way outward.
- Also, no matter what’s going on, it won’t last forever. So cherish the good things that you can be happy about, and look forward to when those unhappy times will be over.
- You woke up this morning – which means you have more time to enjoy life. So instead of wasting time griping and complaining, stop sweating the small stuff and be happy!
- Think back to those times when you laughed uncontrollably, loved unconditionally and believed thoroughly in the future.
Remember how good those feelings felt, and relish them in your mind.
- Have your own little party. Turn on your favorite music, get up and dance, and smile just because. Be happy that you have the ability to do so and that it feels good for no reason.
- Be happy because you’re alive, you’re beautiful, no one else is like you and you are always loved, whether you realize it or not. You have at least one person on this earth who always loves you…YOU!
- 7. Take time today to do something that makes you smile. Whether that’s watching your favorite movie, reading your favorite book, going for a walk in your favorite park, taking a long bubble bath or playing with your kids or your pet. Start with a smile and let that smile go all the way to your toes.
- 8. Ignore the people that are tap dancing on your nerves. Let today be all about you and feeling good. Because honestly, they don’t matter! Only you matter so cherish yourself today.
- Look at your hands, your feet, your skin, and your hair; feel the strength in your legs and your arms. Smile and admire how beautiful you are. If you don’t do it, no one else will! Be happy with exactly who you are and what you’ve got. You only get one you!
- Lastly, think about every last person who makes your life great. Take a few minutes and think of each person, and love them in your mind. If it weren’t for them, would you be who you are today? Be happy that you have the chance to think of them lovingly and honor what they mean to you.
I was so inspired this morning to read Marelisa’s most recent post over at her Abundance blog. Marelisa tells the story of Roz Savage, a woman who seemingly had it all but left a charmed life to create a life of adventure. Roz completed an extreme rowing challenge, coming in last in the 2005 Atlantic Rowing Challenge [the same year as Hurricane Katrina, a record year for tropical storms in the Atlantic]. Now if that sounds like a failure to you, don’t take it that way at all – Roz rowed for 103 days and faced many challenges alone at sea. How many of us can say we faced our fears, jumped in head first, and completed the enormous task that we set out to meet?
Roz’s story really inspired me for a few reasons: she is attempting to become the first woman to row solo across the Pacific Ocean [starting in San Francisco and ending in Australia, she will have rowed over 8,000 miles cumulatively, made over 3 million oar strokes, and spent over 312 days alone at sea on a 23 ft. rowboat]; she left an idyllic, seeming perfect life and followed her heart to live an extraordinary life; but mostly because she changed the story in her head from one of limitation to one of empowerment.
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The same messages are swirling round and round the mental merry-go-round you have upstairs. I honestly think that most people aren’t aware that they can slow down the momentum of their thoughts, or stop the ride altogether.
The thing is, most of the thoughts you think didn’t even come from your own mind – they passed to you from the opinions and actions of others. How many times have you heard the following:
- money doesn’t grow on trees
- you have to work smarter, not harder
- no pain, no gain
- the only way I’ll date (insert ethnic group that’s not your own) men is if they look like (insert ridiculously fine actor).
- I’m just gonna wait on the Lord
- black people don’t do that
- those (insert ethnic group that’s not your own) will put up with more than black women will
- I’ll only do it if it fulfills God’s purpose for my life
- only rich or lucky people live that way
- I have to prepare for a husband
Were any of these familiar thoughts ones you originated? Or did your mom, friends, teachers, significant other and coworkers repeat them until they stuck with you?
Think about it for a second.
Why are we defining our lives using someone else’s thoughts? Or using criteria that helped people survive in the past, but are not relevant today? Or, even more important, are a part of a guerilla marketing plan to keep people where the marketers want them to be (following the latest diet fad, contributing to their cause, or following their system instead of someone else’s)?
How To Wipe Your SlateSimply put, question the generalizations and preconceived notions that come to your mind. How is money the root of all evil? Why do some people get ahead and others don’t – is it really luck or are there other factors at play? Where are some of these sayings located in the Bible? Ultimately, who determines how things are supposed to be, and do they always correspond to that person’s idea? If they don’t, why don’t they? Could it be that you’re the exception to the rule – or that the pre-conceived rule doesn’t actually exist?
Alot of the tenets behind improving your mindset involve getting a grip on what’s floating through your mind. And one way to control those thoughts is recognize when they’re not even your thoughts. Once you do that, endeavor to define those thoughts as uniquely your own. The case may be that you believe the thought and want it to remain. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, as long as you consciously choose the thought and not just accept what’s been forced upon you by society. Last nite, one of my friends and I (heyyyy Tammy! *waves*) were discussing the difference in mentality of a rich and poor person, and how the scarcity/lack mentality is perpetuated in certain communities. One of the thoughts that I developed when I first began reading about positive thinking/motivation/self-help topics was how the advice given in that school of thought is generally different than the conventional wisdom we’re given by our families and friends.
When I was growing up, almost every adult in my life advised me to go to school (college) and get a good job. So I worked hard to get good grades and participate in extracurricular activities so that I’d get into college. I chose to major in business administration to fulfill my dream of owning my own business, but my professors constantly advised me to get a good job in corporate America first, then perhaps after 10 years or so I could branch out on my own and start my own business. I just couldn’t see waiting 10 years after college to start a business. I couldn’t see how working as a mid-level manager could prepare me to own a business. So after my first year in FAMU’s School of Business and Industry, I changed my major. Eventually I studied English, which tied together my strong writing skills and my interest in literature. Then the problem became, I’m studying something I love but how will this lead to a good job?
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