Are you as optimistic as you think you are?

For the last week or so I’ve been recovering from a respiratory infection. As I lay in bed, I amused myself with a paranormal romance novel. In a nutshell, the book is about a sleep god who falls in love with a woman whose dreams he’s been entering. He desires her so much, he takes human form for 2 weeks to experience what she’s like. While he’s there, he decides to help her find Atlantis to fulfill a promise to her deceased father. Can you imagine a handsome, powerful god coming to help you on an important quest? Even though the heroine was grateful, she remained doubtful, skeptical and pessimistic throughout the book. She questioned, second-guessed, and conveniently forgot certain instructions, such as “don’t release this person because the world will end”. After a while, I kept thinking “this broad is really getting on my nerves!” After I finished the book, I realized that alot of people are like that in real life and aren’t even aware if it.

 

Gauge your level of optimism

As a goal-oriented person, I suspect that you generally believe that life can get better if you apply yourself to the pursuit of making it so. But what do you feel is the nature of life? Do you feel that life is not fair, that ‘what goes around comes around’ or do you feel that what happens to us is random and we should make the best of it? You may have a general good feeling about life, but really examine your ‘small thoughts’ to determine what your real outlook is.

 

For example, you get an unexpected bill or you blow your budget for the month. What is your knee-jerk reaction? Do you say “I knew this would happen”, “I never have any money”, or “if it ain’t one thing, its another”. These types of thoughts indicate that your level of optimism pertaining to money is low. On the other hand, if you recognize that sometimes unexpected things happen, “there’s always next month to try again” or “I may not have met my goal this month, but I’m certainly getting better”, then there’s indication that you have an optimistic outlook.

 

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How To Silence Your Biggest Hater

If you’re making moves in your life or aspiring to improve any situation, I can almost guarantee you’ve encountered a hater. Someone just has to give you a negative opinion on what you’re trying to do, the person you’re striving to become or the possession you’re trying to attain. From snide remarks, backhanded statements, and, most painfully, unintentionally demeaning advice, the people in our lives have an insidious way of inserting negative statements into our conversations.

The concept of what a hater is has gotten warped though. Sometimes if you disagree with someone or just don’t like something, you’re labeled as a hater. Hating is not disliking something, hating is a jealous or insecure reaction to another person. Urban dictionary defines a hater as:

A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesnt really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch.

Susan: You know, Kevin from accounting is doing very well. He just bought a house in a very nice part of town.
Jane (hater): If he is doing so well why does he drive that ’89 Taurus?

Now I bet as soon as you read the title of this post, you immediately formed a mental picture of the person you feel hates on you the most. But I also bet that I can tell you who your biggest hater is: its not your mother, brother, or best friend; its not one of your coworkers or your significant other. Your biggest hater is your own mind.

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