How To Turn Right Side Up

I love it when you guys submit topics for me to write!

Today’s request is again from the Motivated Sista Facebook page: Dee suggested the topic “how to stay positive and motivate others when your world is turning upside down”.

I developed my own method around this problem during my first year of this blog. There were so many times when situations sucked, but I had to keep on pushing. Because how could I motivate you guys if I was attending a solo pity party? Now I’m definitely not perfect… if I just can’t give any motivation (I’m generally positive, unless I’m angry…lol), then I’ll take a break and come back with a new post when I have the motivation mojo.

If you haven’t yet mastered your own method of motivating others while dealing with your own situations, here’s what I’ve found.

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Get Out Of Your Own Way

This is the 4th part of my series on the law of attraction. The previous posts can be found here:

1. Beyond The Secret Part I
2. Beyond The Secret Part II
3. Beyond The Secret Part III

Step 3: Your Desires Become Manifest

In the last post, I wrote about the three steps that it takes to manifest a desire:

Step 1 – Ask. You desire something, and your beliefs, feelings and vibration about it communicates to the Universe that you want it.

Step 2 – Answer. The Universe (or God, if you will) responds to your vibration and begins to align the people, resources and things to bring about your desire. You are totally independent of this process.

Step 3 – Receive. You allow your desire to manifest (or become material) in your life.

This is by far the hardest part of the process. You’d think it’d be easy, right? We just asked the Universe to give us something we really want, and the Universe fulfilled our request. So why aren’t people more successful at manifesting their desires?

Because we don’t know how to get out of our own way and allow our desires to come directly to us.

Your Beliefs Are Tripping You Up

A truth is simply a thought that you think over and over again until you accept it. We’ve all been conditioned to believe certain ‘truths’:

• anything worth having, you have to work hard for
• money doesn’t grow on trees
• if something is different, its not ‘normal’ (and therefore you shouldn’t want it)
• all the ‘good men’ are already taken
• you have to crawl before you walk, and expect to pay your dues with blood, sweat and tears

Think about it like this: before you were told otherwise, you thought it was perfectly fine to color outside of the lines, right? It was also okay to color things with different colors than in real life, and if you colored in the sun with a blue crayon, and the grass with a red crayon, it was cool because that’s what you wanted to do, right?

But then your first-grade teacher strolled by and looked at your work. “Now, now,” she scolded you, “you have to color inside the lines. If you continue to do it like that, you’re doing it wrong.”

This didn’t really bother you, until you got home and your parents reacted the same way. “This is nice, honey,” they said, “but you should color the grass green and the sun yellow.”

You don’t remember when it happened, but you started coloring carefully inside the lines. You made sure that the colors you chose corresponded to how the objects look in real life. The adults in your life didn’t intend to stifle your creativity and kill your imagination. They just wanted to make sure you knew how to fit into society and acted like everyone else. Like normal.

The problem is, now you’re walking around with all these inherited ideas about how life should go, and your dreams now fit the parameters of those rules. You’re afraid to color your dreams outside the lines, and you’re afraid to paint your dreams in colors that are different than how they look in real life.

Worry Is Holding You Back

Every desire carries with it the exact opposite desire. So for everything that you want, there is a very specific thing that you don’t want. If you want a good job, you don’t want a bad job. If you want a handsome, successful man in your life, you don’t want either an ugly man or a lazy bum. Or even worse, an ugly, lazy bum…

…but I digress.

For the ‘little things’ we desire in life (and the Universe makes no size distinctions like we do; manifesting a cup of coffee is the same process as manifesting a Camry), we don’t think about what we don’t want all that much. But for the things that we strongly desire, we’re terrified inside that we won’t get them.

Its that terror – those negative emotions – and how you’ve been conditioned to view those desires, that block your ability to receive them.

Unless you expect your desire to manifest in your life at any moment, then you’re standing in the way of your manifestation. Why do you have any time constraints on your desire? Why do you feel like certain things should happen first? Why do you doubt that it’ll come to you – because of what happened in other people’s lives, because of what you’ve been told?

Remember, none of this is up to you anyway. Its up to the Universe. Its not an issue of you being worthy or having to earn anything. You were born worthy, and nothing differentiates what you deserve from what anyone else deserves.

The only things standing in your way, are the negative thoughts and emotions rolling between your ears.

So today, choose to believe that the abundance of the Earth is coming your way. Choose to believe that you’re worthy, that you deserve the best out of life, and that the blessings you’ve been asking for are right on your doorstep. Yes, it IS that simple. Try it and see. What have you got to lose?

10 Reasons To Be Happy RIGHT NOW

1. Be happy right now because you have the option to be happy. No matter what’s going on in your life, those are just events and circumstances. Happiness starts in your mind and works its way outward.
   
   



2. Also, no matter what’s going on, it won’t last forever. So cherish the good things that you can be happy about, and look forward to when those unhappy times will be over.



3. You woke up this morning – which means you have more time to enjoy life. So instead of wasting time griping and complaining, stop sweating the small stuff and be happy!



4. Think back to those times when you laughed uncontrollably, loved unconditionally and believed thoroughly in the future.
   Remember how good those feelings felt, and relish them in your mind.



5. Have your own little party. Turn on your favorite music, get up and dance, and smile just because. Be happy that you have the ability to do so and that it feels good for no reason.



6. Be happy because you’re alive, you’re beautiful, no one else is like you and you are always loved, whether you realize it or not. You have at least one person on this earth who always loves you…YOU!




7. 7. Take time today to do something that makes you smile. Whether that’s watching your favorite movie, reading your favorite book, going for a walk in your favorite park, taking a long bubble bath or playing with your kids or your pet. Start with a smile and let that smile go all the way to your toes.



8. 8. Ignore the people that are tap dancing on your nerves. Let today be all about you and feeling good. Because honestly, they don’t matter! Only you matter so cherish yourself today.



9. Look at your hands, your feet, your skin, and your hair; feel the strength in your legs and your arms. Smile and admire how beautiful you are. If you don’t do it, no one else will! Be happy with exactly who you are and what you’ve got. You only get one you!



10. Lastly, think about every last person who makes your life great. Take a few minutes and think of each person, and love them in your mind. If it weren’t for them, would you be who you are today? Be happy that you have the chance to think of them lovingly and honor what they mean to you.

Wipe your slate clean

The thoughts you think every day are some of the biggest blockades to your success.

The same messages are swirling round and round the mental merry-go-round you have upstairs. I honestly think that most people aren’t aware that they can slow down the momentum of their thoughts, or stop the ride altogether.

The thing is, most of the thoughts you think didn’t even come from your own mind – they passed to you from the opinions and actions of others. How many times have you heard the following:

• money doesn’t grow on trees
• you have to work smarter, not harder
• no pain, no gain
• the only way I’ll date (insert ethnic group that’s not your own) men is if they look like (insert ridiculously fine actor).
• I’m just gonna wait on the Lord
• black people don’t do that
• those (insert ethnic group that’s not your own) will put up with more than black women will
• I’ll only do it if it fulfills God’s purpose for my life
• only rich or lucky people live that way
• I have to prepare for a husband

Were any of these familiar thoughts ones you originated? Or did your mom, friends, teachers, significant other and coworkers repeat them until they stuck with you?
Think about it for a second.

Why are we defining our lives using someone else’s thoughts? Or using criteria that helped people survive in the past, but are not relevant today? Or, even more important, are a part of a guerilla marketing plan to keep people where the marketers want them to be (following the latest diet fad, contributing to their cause, or following their system instead of someone else’s)?

How To Wipe Your Slate

Simply put, question the generalizations and preconceived notions that come to your mind. How is money the root of all evil? Why do some people get ahead and others don’t – is it really luck or are there other factors at play? Where are some of these sayings located in the Bible? Ultimately, who determines how things are supposed to be, and do they always correspond to that person’s idea? If they don’t, why don’t they? Could it be that you’re the exception to the rule – or that the pre-conceived rule doesn’t actually exist?

Alot of the tenets behind improving your mindset involve getting a grip on what’s floating through your mind. And one way to control those thoughts is recognize when they’re not even your thoughts. Once you do that, endeavor to define those thoughts as uniquely your own. The case may be that you believe the thought and want it to remain. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, as long as you consciously choose the thought and not just accept what’s been forced upon you by society.

Take Some Time For Love

Please allow me to take a few moments and ponder love.

The other day, I was having a ‘moment’. I have this huge mirror on my dresser, and as I was getting dressed, I was standing in front of it. I remarked to myself that my skin felt really soft, then my eyes caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. And I was really happy with what I saw. I smiled at myself, took a few moments to bask in that happy feeling, and then kept it moving.

Its important to note to you that I’m not perfect. I have stretch marks, rolls of body fat, acne scars, I can stand to lose about 30 pounds and I only have one dimple. But I love my body. The more I take the time to love it, the better I feel about myself and the more I enjoy the person I’m growing into. I don’t just love my body when I’m wearing a fly outfit or some Spanxx. I love it when I’m naked, when I’m clothed, when I’m laying in bed and even when I feel kinda fat. I love exactly what I have and even though it’d be nice to have a flatter stomach, I don’t beat myself up about it. I have strengths and weaknesses just like every other woman but this bundle of flesh is uniquely my own.

Getting older is alot of fun. I didn’t anticipate enjoying my days this much. One reason I looked forward to turning 30 was gaining the strong sense of self that older women seem to have. I’ve never seen a friend who’s over 30 apologize for who she is, what she wants and the choices she’s made. I didn’t really understand what it means to love yourself until I stopped comparing myself to others, stopped reaching for some ideal of what I should be or what I should look like, and just appreciated who I am, what I like and my potential as it stands.

Its so freeing to live outside of the self-consciousness, worry what others think of you and thoughts of whether or not you’re making the right decisions. When you’re the authority on you,  you don’t have to rely on others, its all you. You set the tone for your life and you control your own mission as the CEO of You.

Yeah, I’m feelin’ myself, and I hope you’re feelin’ yourself too. We’re wonderful, beautiful beings with the chance to have, be or do anything. Doesn’t that just make you feel good? =)

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

• I want to be happy.
• I want to have abundance all around me.
• I want to be appreciated for who I am, not who people want me to be.
• I want to be loved.

• I want to be smart.
• I want to be carefree, at ease, content with life.
• I want to be healthy.
• I want to be free from the judgement of others.

• I want to be valued.
• I want to love myself more than I love anyone else.
• I want to make a positive contribution to the world.
• I want to life the best life I can, every day.

Write Your Own Playbook

Last nite, one of my friends and I (heyyyy Tammy! *waves*) were discussing the difference in mentality of a rich and poor person, and how the scarcity/lack mentality is perpetuated in certain communities. One of the thoughts that I developed when I first began reading about positive thinking/motivation/self-help topics was how the advice given in that school of thought is generally different than the conventional wisdom we’re given by our families and friends.

When I was growing up, almost every adult in my life advised me to go to school (college) and get a good job. So I worked hard to get good grades and participate in extracurricular activities so that I’d get into college. I chose to major in business administration to fulfill my dream of owning my own business, but my professors constantly advised me to get a good job in corporate America first, then perhaps after 10 years or so I could branch out on my own and start my own business. I just couldn’t see waiting 10 years after college to start a business. I couldn’t see how working as a mid-level manager could prepare me to own a business. So after my first year in FAMU’s School of Business and Industry, I changed my major.  Eventually I studied English, which tied together my strong writing skills and my interest in literature. Then the problem became, I’m studying something I love but how will this lead to a good job?

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Are you as optimistic as you think you are?

For the last week or so I’ve been recovering from a respiratory infection. As I lay in bed, I amused myself with a paranormal romance novel. In a nutshell, the book is about a sleep god who falls in love with a woman whose dreams he’s been entering. He desires her so much, he takes human form for 2 weeks to experience what she’s like. While he’s there, he decides to help her find Atlantis to fulfill a promise to her deceased father. Can you imagine a handsome, powerful god coming to help you on an important quest? Even though the heroine was grateful, she remained doubtful, skeptical and pessimistic throughout the book. She questioned, second-guessed, and conveniently forgot certain instructions, such as “don’t release this person because the world will end”. After a while, I kept thinking “this broad is really getting on my nerves!” After I finished the book, I realized that alot of people are like that in real life and aren’t even aware if it.

 

Gauge your level of optimism

As a goal-oriented person, I suspect that you generally believe that life can get better if you apply yourself to the pursuit of making it so. But what do you feel is the nature of life? Do you feel that life is not fair, that ‘what goes around comes around’ or do you feel that what happens to us is random and we should make the best of it? You may have a general good feeling about life, but really examine your ‘small thoughts’ to determine what your real outlook is.

 

For example, you get an unexpected bill or you blow your budget for the month. What is your knee-jerk reaction? Do you say “I knew this would happen”, “I never have any money”, or “if it ain’t one thing, its another”. These types of thoughts indicate that your level of optimism pertaining to money is low. On the other hand, if you recognize that sometimes unexpected things happen, “there’s always next month to try again” or “I may not have met my goal this month, but I’m certainly getting better”, then there’s indication that you have an optimistic outlook.

 

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