The Best Gift You Can Give This Christmas

I hope your Christmas shopping is completed, but if not, good luck out there! I saw news stories about long lines and bizarre behavior over Jordan sneakers. It’s really not that serious.

Our society has become material-driven during the holidays. You can always mark what holiday is coming by the elaborate displays in CVS and Target. The best gift to give to your loved ones, though, can’t be bought in a store (how’s that for a cliche, eh?). The best Christmas gift you can give to others is to give yourself all year long.

We tend to give everything we’ve got – all our time, energy, money and focus – to the people in our lives. Some of those people – like coworkers and members of organizations we’re in – aren’t even friends or family. Yet we roll up our sleeves and put in tons of effort for other people’s dreams.

Give Your Best, Rested, Focused, Present Self

Instead of spreading yourself too thin, worrying about how another person’s life will turn out and dwelling on past events you cannot change, why don’t you give your best self?

You can’t be a blessing in another person’s life if you’re tired, depleted, broke, and worried. Give yourself a break if you need it. Pull back from activities that aren’t absolutely necessary (i.e. not helping you pay bills), and learn how to say no. Saying no and being fully present and available when you can is better than saying yes and being a mess because you’re not at your best.

There’s a saying that “you can’t pour blessings into another’s cup if your own cup is empty”. I truly believe that as the truth.

Give Your Genuine, Unbiased, Unprejudiced Self

 Along those same lines, you can’t be a blessing in anyone’s life if you’re being fake, judgmental or viewing their dreams and their problems through your own lens. We all want different things in life so it’s not fair to make someone else feel negatively about their desires because they choose something different than  you do. In the end, what they need is your support and friendship, not another naysayer to kill their dreams. Put yourself in their shoes and give your best self.

Now I admit that this is something I’m working on within myself. I tend to be hard on others if I know that they’re capable of greatness. Yet I have to allow that we’re all in a constant state of evolution, heck I’m not where I want to be either. I’m getting to a place where I accept and have no judgements attached to the choices that people make in their lives.

Give Your Most Inspired, Loving, Nonfearful, Blissful Self

When you’re inspired, blissful, happy and hopeful, you’re connected to God and able to help others reach that same connection. That’s one of the most valuable experiences you can give to another. Yet when you’re feeling down, bitter, in a state of worry and feeling lost, what do you have to give? Find the happy place within yourself and do things that make you happy for no reason. You owe it to yourself to take the best care that you can, but you also owe it to others to share your talents and gifts with the world.

Stop putting yourself last. Put your health, mental state and happiness first. When you’re at your best you can give your best. Isn’t that what you really want?

The Scam of Unselfishness

You’re not going to like this post very much.

You see, I’m here today to tell you that you’ve been hoodwinked. If you’re a woman, you were probably taught to be nice, to always think of others, to give unselfishly of yourself, and to ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. And if you’re a man, we’ve all heard the saying that ‘nice guys finish last’. You’ve seen in your own life where you’ve been ‘too nice’, you’ve given and given and given, and you put others’ wants and needs before your own.

How is that working out for you??

I’m gonna guess probably not that well. These lessons are great ways to teach children how to interact with the world. Children by nature are very self-centered and pleasure-driven, so I can see where it is not safe or practical to raise a child that only knows how to satisfy his or her needs, without consideration of others or taking into account the consequences of their actions. But you’re not a child anymore.

You’re an adult with needs and desires of your own, and you’re probably tired of getting your feelings trampled, of others being inconsiderate toward you, of people ‘taking your kindness for weakness’. There are a few tactics you can use to get around this.

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Maximize Your Return On Investment

One of my personal mantras is “Put Yourself First”. I came to this thought by observing that a person can give time, effort, affection and support to others but not always receive the time, effort, affection and support they need themselves. So I was nodding my head when my friend posted on her Facebook status yesterday,”What percentage of the LOVE that we GIVE AWAY is really EARNED? No more handouts, NO EXCEPTIONS! From this day forward ANYONE who gets MY LOVE will be DESERVING AND RECIPROCATE IT….(and pls spare me with the “love everyone” foolishness, thats NOT realistic!).” It also got me to thinking: its definitely important to put yourself first and invest in yourself - because you are your greatest asset. But how do you determine how much to invest in others?

Your Investment In Human Assets

From Wikipedia:

“Investment is the commitment of money or capital to purchase financial instruments or other assets in order to gain profitable returns in form of interest, income, or appreciation of the value of the instrument.”

Your family, friends, coworkers and associates are the human instruments that you invest in. Do you expect to get profitable returns from your efforts? Or is your philosophy that you love and do for others unselfishly and don’t expect to get anything in return? I’m not trying to be funny, but if the latter is your answer, how is that working out for you?

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